30 December 2006

Endings

I can’t sleep
I’m lonely

And I’m scared


Scared of what?


Death


After all

What else is there to fear?

Everything else you can breathe through


But death


Is when the breath stops


The end.



[12 December 06]

30 November 2006

Stop!

Dewdrops in a spider’s web.
The morning sun.


I search for something to say,

Something clever: metaphorical!

I search for something to grasp,

Something smart: ontological!


But wait!


Dewdrops in a spider’s web.

The morning sun.


What more need be said?



[13 October 2006]

31 August 2006

Turning

As the wind blew
And the chimes banged

It seemed the skeleton

Of my insecurity roamed

Through the night with

Ill intent denying me sleep



[29 December 05]

Inside out

Who hears the wind chimes?
Where do they resonate?

Banging on the window

Clonking on each other

Banging in my skull

Knocking at my eyeballs



[30 December 05]

A clearer mind

Lately
The sky seems stunning

The birds vibrant and joyous

The flowers bursting with colour and detail

The trees strong and beautiful

Maybe I don’t block the view so much

Lately



[29 May 06]

Moving on

My calendar illustrates the seasons

Today I take down Spring

Move Summer across my wall

And place Autumn by it’s side


Ablaze with burgundy fire

And moving into deeper, darker tones


A time of change is here once more



[28 August 2006]

16 July 2006

Accepting

Sadness too
Is an emotion
Arising, dwelling, passing away
Making space for


Joy!

Passion!

Gratitude!

Love!

Happiness!



[16 July 2006]

07 July 2006

Did you see?

The moon
Soft

Slender

Sublime

Silver

Sliver

Silently

Hanging in the darkening sky



[29 May 06]

03 July 2006

What rhymes with rage?

red and black, burning hot

pressure


not a care, tightening claws

control


thrashing blindly, striking out

rage


i can’t do a thing but

feel



[03 July 2006]

28 June 2006

Lunch Over

The Children sit in the mud
Digging in their world

Of infinite possibility and

Unbounded imagination


Shoots become lanterns

Ready to glow in the dark

Lighting the way for Gnomies

Who only come out at night


Sunlight slants through the trees

The birds warble on

As the children chatter and

A plane rumbles by overhead



[17 June 2006]

17 June 2006

Downstairs

Sitting naked at my desk
I empty my mind of tomorrow’s shopping list

So that I may sleep tonight



[16 June 2006]

03 June 2006

Writing a poem

In this cold lonely house
Sifting through

Feelings


I sit


Thinking

Of today

Some things might need doing



[23 April 06]

24 May 2006

Monday

Sitting
Birdsong

Occasionally penetrates

The fog of my mind

My legs feel cold



[22 May 2006]

19 May 2006

Impermanent

Flowers never know
The beauty that we enjoy

Petals gently fall



[19 May 2006]

Life dance

I can feel my consciousness, rising once more
I can feel the poetry, flowing from each pore


My heart is open, my soul is listening

My body alive, beads of sweat glistening


Time again, to celebrate life out loud

To shout to the sky, to stand proud


Music and dance have penetrated my gloom

Allowing my joy, my love, to ripen and bloom



[10 October 2003]

14 May 2006

Fool

Every move I make
Is yet another mistake


To live is to die

In each attempt to fly


Begin from the start

Aim to penetrate the heart



[8 – 14 April 2006]

In the early morning

I rise in the half-light at 6am
Dress in my trousers of soft red cotton

Pull on a t-shirt and worn green sweater

Cover my feet in some stripy brown socks


I pull open the curtains

Let in the grey morning light

I glance out at to the garden and houses beyond

As the light gently bathes my bedroom


I listen to a scattering of bird song

Set the cushions ready and place the gong nearby

Visit the bathroom and relieve my bladder

Pad quietly downstairs


Tidy away the curtain over the back door

Glance into the garden

Turn and cross the lounge

Open the door and enter the hall


Slip on my green trainers

Put on my old teal fleece jacket

Reach around the archway into the kitchen

Pick up the back door key on its extra large ring


Unlock the back door and place the key on the table

Step outside into the cool grey morning

Hear the bamboo wind chimes clonk for a moment

Close the door, then silence


Stretch and exercise, allowing the morning in

In through my eyes, my ears, my nose and all of my body

The little ragged garden and houses beyond

Grey concrete below, grey cloudy sky above


Fat pigeons

Suddenly clatter

And flap off

To another rooftop


Bow to the morning


I open the door, step inside and lock it once more

Walk back to the hall and return the key

Take off my trainers and jacket

Walk upstairs feeling cool and alive


Kneel down and light a match

Light two candles in tall brass candlestick holders

Blow out the match and light an incense stick from a candle

Plant the incense into the fine ash in the censer


Light for the Buddha

Light for the morning

Light for the day

Light for all beings


Bow

Kneel, hands down, head down, hands open

Hands close, push off and stand once more

Three prostrations

Bow


Rearrange the cushions and sit down on them

Pick up my mobile phone, set the timer to 30 minutes

Put down the phone and pick up the striker

For the little green brass gong with the eyes of compassion inside


Bong… bong… bong…


Sitting


Breathing, wrestling thoughts, concerns

A scattering of bird song

The wind chimes clonk

Breathing, time goes by


The mobile phone buzzes 30 minutes

Bong… bong… bong…

Bow to the Buddha

Slowly unfold my legs and stand up


Pad downstairs and go to the kitchen

Select a bowl from yesterday, peel and slice the last banana into it

Sprinkle rolled oats, then sultanas

Pour apple juice into a glass


Place a mat on the table

Put the bowl and the glass onto the mat

Along with a spoon and a box of rice milk

Return quietly upstairs


Sit on the cushions

Set the timer on the mobile phone

Bong… bong… bong…

Bow

A few thoughts drift to the surface, then pass on by

A scattering of bird song, the clonking of the wind chimes


The mobile phone buzzes 30 minutes


Bong… bong… bong…


Bow to the Buddha


Tidy the cushions away

Kneel down and face the altar


Recite the Heart Sutra


Gate… Gate… Paragate… Parasamgate… Bodhi Svaha


Recite the Four Great vows


I vow to delivery innumerable sentient being

I vow to cut off endless vexations

I vow to master limitless approaches to dharma

I vow to attain supreme Buddhahood


Bow


Prostrate three times


Bow


Blow out the candles

Change into clothes for the day

Walk softly downstairs for breakfast



[24 April 2006]

13 May 2006

A Woman

There is a woman
A woman that I know


A woman of beauty

Of wonderful clear and understanding eyes


A woman of joy

With a generous, all embracing smile


A woman who dances

Sometimes tender, sometimes all fire


A woman who shares

Touches hearts with her grace


A woman who stands

Tall, proud and strong


A woman who walks

Forward in life, leading the way


A woman with passion

Commitment and drive


There is a woman

In who I can trust the whole world


A woman who I love

For I welcome her as my new sister



[06 October 2000]

A Man

There is a man
A man that I know


A man who is tall

Tall like the mountains, majestic and high


A man who is strong

Strong like the trees, firm and real to touch


A man who loves

Loves like the sun, shining bright on a hot summer day


A man who laughs

Laughs like the waves, crashing with joy on the beach


A man who walks

Walks with great strides into his future


A man who dances

Creating energy with innocence and fun


A man with commitment

Willing to stand for his life


There is a man

In who I can see the whole world


A man who I love

For he is my brother



[06 October 2000]

Sleepless

The turmoil
Of the night

Seems less

In the morning light


And yet

The loneliness

Remains

Unchanged



[13 May 2006]

10 May 2006

Uncle

My uncle was a tall man
He stood head above the crowds

He was a gentle man

With a twinkle in his eye


He had very long legs

And strode along with confidence


As he walked through his life


And now that he has departed

I cannot say for sure, where he walks to next


But I do not doubt, he will be welcomed

Wherever he might be


And loved for his warmth

And his generosity


As I shall remember him



[09 May 2006]

08 May 2006

30 Words for L

A bird
An Apple

A Buddha

In a box


A Cable

A Camera

By the apricot


A card

A Chinese

My Daddy

Likes to chop


A Lion

A Cushion

From the same family


It’s light

The Marker

There’s a Pencil

By the phone


A poem

Of a paua

And many rabbits too


A truck

A restart

Take shelter

From the speaker


A wallet

Wants to meditate

Kiwifruit style


Father Christmas hasn’t used

Deodorant in a while!



[29 April 2006]

03 May 2006

What should I do?

Should I plant some seeds in my little garden in the dusk light outside?
Seeds to grow into flowers that invite the birds to join me.
Or go for a walk down a country road?

Put a dvd in the post, maybe find a house I am curious to see.


Either way I get to be in the calm grey evening.


Maybe I’ll wear my gumboots, new only a week or so ago.
And wrap up in my grey raincoat, put a woollen hat on.
Gently and anonymously merge with the evening outside.


Am I waiting for something?

I’ll stop now and fade away.



[23 April 2006]

02 May 2006

Being breakfast

As I pour the rice milk
I watch the oats float up
The saltanas seem to want to join them
But the slices of banana

Are just too lazy to do a single thing

Except be there!




[24 April 2006]

Looking back

What would you have to say
If I was you and you were me

About the way my life is

And how things seem to be?


The green

The greens

The many, many greens


The leaves

The stalks

The many, many blades


The soft

The gentle

The silken, silken touch


The jewels

The glistening

The shiny round drops


But you would miss my very being

The very aspect that separates me from you


For I am happy

To spread my roots

To stretch my leaves

As far and wide as I may reach


To grow when strong, and die when weak

To be crushed, to spring back up

To be chopped, to be cut

To be ripped clean out of the earth


I don’t need the dewy morning

To paint my tips with glistening jewels

To sparkle in the early morning sun

To catch the eye of a poet’s heart


I am happy for my position close to the earth

While it lasts, without need to cling

For from the earth I might seem to come, to you

And to the earth I might seem to return, to you


But from where I am

There is no I, there is no earth

These very things you like to call I and Earth

Are but one and the same


In fact I could say the same of you

But then again you wouldn’t see

For I have no words to give, to take

And that is the difference between you and me



[12 April 2006]

I hate question marks

Maybe one day?
Maybe sometime soon?
Who can really say?

The sun won’t rise


And then again maybe the moon

Will do her job

And pull the sun right up

From where he’s hiding


And launch him high

Into the sky

To burn us all

Once more


To embrace us
With his fire

To light us up

With his temperament


But then again

Maybe it’s all

Fantasy


Who can say?

What a new day

Will bring


Why does the earth

Keep on turning?

And why does my mind

Keep on churning?


If I close my eyes now

What will you see?

What will be there?

Who will I be?


Right now.




[12 April 2006]