On SundayI started to read your “Some stories”
But stopped
I didn’t want to just read it
I wanted to savour it, immerse myself in the world created by your words
Later I listened to you reading it
But stopped, again
On Monday
I put it on while I was cooking and listened
Not so immersed as I’d intended, but by then it seemed quite intellectual, thoughtful
I followed along
At a distance
Until
“There was a moment…”
Suddenly
I’m wrenched from my distance
Thrown directly into it
My hands and face on the gravel, rough and scratchy
My throat hoarse with rage and grief
But also departed, aloft, free
The world spread out below me, no longer binding me
But also sitting in the burgundy car, watching the landscape roll by
Stunned and confused by the raw outpouring
Returning to my kitchen
I'm shattered
Fragmented and yet not
Somehow all one, all at once
[23 February 2023]
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