Endings

I can’t sleep
I’m lonely
And I’m scared

Scared of what?

Death

After all
What else is there to fear?
Everything else you can breathe through

But death

Is when the breath stops

The end.


[12 December 06]

Stop!

Dewdrops in a spider’s web.
The morning sun.

I search for something to say,
Something clever: metaphorical!
I search for something to grasp,
Something smart: ontological!

But wait!

Dewdrops in a spider’s web.
The morning sun.

What more need be said?


[13 October 2006]

Turning

As the wind blew
And the chimes banged
It seemed the skeleton
Of my insecurity roamed
Through the night with
Ill intent denying me sleep


[29 December 05]

Inside out

Who hears the wind chimes?
Where do they resonate?
Banging on the window
Clonking on each other
Banging in my skull
Knocking at my eyeballs


[30 December 05]

A clearer mind

Lately
The sky seems stunning
The birds vibrant and joyous
The flowers bursting with colour and detail
The trees strong and beautiful
Maybe I don’t block the view so much
Lately


[29 May 06]

Moving on

My calendar illustrates the seasons

Today I take down Spring
Move Summer across my wall
And place Autumn by it’s side

Ablaze with burgundy fire
And moving into deeper, darker tones

A time of change is here once more


[28 August 2006]

Accepting

Sadness too
Is an emotion
Arising, dwelling, passing away
Making space for

Joy!

Passion!

Gratitude!

Love!

Happiness!

[16 July 2006]

Did you see?

The moon
Soft
Slender
Sublime
Silver
Sliver
Silently
Hanging in the darkening sky


[29 May 06]

What rhymes with rage?

red and black, burning hot

pressure

not a care, tightening claws

control

thrashing blindly, striking out

rage

i can’t do a thing but

feel

[03 July 2006]

Lunch Over

The Children sit in the mud
Digging in their world
Of infinite possibility and
Unbounded imagination

Shoots become lanterns
Ready to glow in the dark
Lighting the way for Gnomies
Who only come out at night

Sunlight slants through the trees
The birds warble on
As the children chatter and
A plane rumbles by overhead


[17 June 2006]

Downstairs

Sitting naked at my desk
I empty my mind of tomorrow’s shopping list
So that I may sleep tonight


[16 June 2006]

Writing a poem

In this cold lonely house
Sifting through
Feelings

I sit

Thinking
Of today
Some things might need doing


[23 April 06]

Monday

Sitting
Birdsong
Occasionally penetrates
The fog of my mind
My legs feel cold


[22 May 2006]

Impermanent

Flowers never know
The beauty that we enjoy
Petals gently fall


[19 May 2006]

Life dance

I can feel my consciousness, rising once more
I can feel the poetry, flowing from each pore

My heart is open, my soul is listening
My body alive, beads of sweat glistening

Time again, to celebrate life out loud
To shout to the sky, to stand proud

Music and dance have penetrated my gloom
Allowing my joy, my love, to ripen and bloom


[10 October 2003]

Fool

Every move I make
Is yet another mistake

To live is to die
In each attempt to fly

Begin from the start
Aim to penetrate the heart


[8 – 14 April 2006]

In the early morning

I rise in the half-light at 6am
Dress in my trousers of soft red cotton
Pull on a t-shirt and worn green sweater
Cover my feet in some stripy brown socks

I pull open the curtains
Let in the grey morning light
I glance out at to the garden and houses beyond
As the light gently bathes my bedroom

I listen to a scattering of bird song
Set the cushions ready and place the gong nearby
Visit the bathroom and relieve my bladder
Pad quietly downstairs

Tidy away the curtain over the back door
Glance into the garden
Turn and cross the lounge
Open the door and enter the hall

Slip on my green trainers
Put on my old teal fleece jacket
Reach around the archway into the kitchen
Pick up the back door key on its extra large ring

Unlock the back door and place the key on the table
Step outside into the cool grey morning
Hear the bamboo wind chimes clonk for a moment
Close the door, then silence

Stretch and exercise, allowing the morning in
In through my eyes, my ears, my nose and all of my body
The little ragged garden and houses beyond
Grey concrete below, grey cloudy sky above

Fat pigeons
Suddenly clatter
And flap off
To another rooftop

Bow to the morning

I open the door, step inside and lock it once more
Walk back to the hall and return the key
Take off my trainers and jacket
Walk upstairs feeling cool and alive

Kneel down and light a match
Light two candles in tall brass candlestick holders
Blow out the match and light an incense stick from a candle
Plant the incense into the fine ash in the censer

Light for the Buddha
Light for the morning
Light for the day
Light for all beings

Bow
Kneel, hands down, head down, hands open
Hands close, push off and stand once more
Three prostrations
Bow

Rearrange the cushions and sit down on them
Pick up my mobile phone, set the timer to 30 minutes
Put down the phone and pick up the striker
For the little green brass gong with the eyes of compassion inside

Bong… bong… bong…

Sitting

Breathing, wrestling thoughts, concerns
A scattering of bird song
The wind chimes clonk
Breathing, time goes by

The mobile phone buzzes 30 minutes
Bong… bong… bong…
Bow to the Buddha
Slowly unfold my legs and stand up

Pad downstairs and go to the kitchen
Select a bowl from yesterday, peel and slice the last banana into it
Sprinkle rolled oats, then sultanas
Pour apple juice into a glass

Place a mat on the table
Put the bowl and the glass onto the mat
Along with a spoon and a box of rice milk
Return quietly upstairs

Sit on the cushions
Set the timer on the mobile phone

Bong… bong… bong…

Bow

A few thoughts drift to the surface, then pass on by
A scattering of bird song, the clonking of the wind chimes

The mobile phone buzzes 30 minutes

Bong… bong… bong…

Bow to the Buddha

Tidy the cushions away
Kneel down and face the altar

Recite the Heart Sutra

Gate… Gate… Paragate… Parasamgate… Bodhi Svaha

Recite the Four Great vows

I vow to delivery innumerable sentient being
I vow to cut off endless vexations
I vow to master limitless approaches to dharma
I vow to attain supreme Buddhahood

Bow

Prostrate three times

Bow

Blow out the candles
Change into clothes for the day
Walk softly downstairs for breakfast


[24 April 2006]

A Woman

There is a woman
A woman that I know

A woman of beauty
Of wonderful clear and understanding eyes

A woman of joy
With a generous, all embracing smile

A woman who dances
Sometimes tender, sometimes all fire

A woman who shares
Touches hearts with her grace

A woman who stands
Tall, proud and strong

A woman who walks
Forward in life, leading the way

A woman with passion
Commitment and drive

There is a woman
In who I can trust the whole world

A woman who I love
For I welcome her as my new sister


[06 October 2000]

A Man

There is a man
A man that I know

A man who is tall
Tall like the mountains, majestic and high

A man who is strong
Strong like the trees, firm and real to touch

A man who loves
Loves like the sun, shining bright on a hot summer day

A man who laughs
Laughs like the waves, crashing with joy on the beach

A man who walks
Walks with great strides into his future

A man who dances
Creating energy with innocence and fun

A man with commitment
Willing to stand for his life

There is a man
In who I can see the whole world

A man who I love
For he is my brother


[06 October 2000]

Sleepless

The turmoil
Of the night
Seems less
In the morning light

And yet
The loneliness
Remains
Unchanged


[13 May 2006]

Uncle

My uncle was a tall man
He stood head above the crowds

He was a gentle man
With a twinkle in his eye

He had very long legs
And strode along with confidence

As he walked through his life

And now that he has departed
I cannot say for sure, where he walks to next

But I do not doubt, he will be welcomed
Wherever he might be

And loved for his warmth
And his generosity

As I shall remember him


[09 May 2006]

30 Words for L

A bird
An Apple
A Buddha
In a box

A Cable
A Camera
By the apricot

A card
A Chinese
My Daddy
Likes to chop

A Lion
A Cushion
From the same family

It’s light
The Marker
There’s a Pencil
By the phone

A poem
Of a paua
And many rabbits too

A truck
A restart
Take shelter
From the speaker

A wallet
Wants to meditate
Kiwifruit style

Father Christmas hasn’t used
Deodorant in a while!


[29 April 2006]

What should I do?

Should I plant some seeds in my little garden in the dusk light outside?
Seeds to grow into flowers that invite the birds to join me.
Or go for a walk down a country road?
Put a dvd in the post, maybe find a house I am curious to see.

Either way I get to be in the calm grey evening.

Maybe I’ll wear my gumboots, new only a week or so ago.
And wrap up in my grey raincoat, put a woollen hat on.
Gently and anonymously merge with the evening outside.

Am I waiting for something?
I’ll stop now and fade away.


[23 April 2006]

Being breakfast

As I pour the rice milk
I watch the oats float up
The saltanas seem to want to join them
But the slices of banana
Are just too lazy to do a single thing
Except be there!



[24 April 2006]

Looking back

What would you have to say
If I was you and you were me
About the way my life is
And how things seem to be?

The green
The greens
The many, many greens

The leaves
The stalks
The many, many blades

The soft
The gentle
The silken, silken touch

The jewels
The glistening
The shiny round drops

But you would miss my very being
The very aspect that separates me from you

For I am happy
To spread my roots
To stretch my leaves
As far and wide as I may reach

To grow when strong, and die when weak
To be crushed, to spring back up
To be chopped, to be cut
To be ripped clean out of the earth

I don’t need the dewy morning
To paint my tips with glistening jewels
To sparkle in the early morning sun
To catch the eye of a poet’s heart

I am happy for my position close to the earth
While it lasts, without need to cling
For from the earth I might seem to come, to you
And to the earth I might seem to return, to you

But from where I am
There is no I, there is no earth
These very things you like to call I and Earth
Are but one and the same

In fact I could say the same of you
But then again you wouldn’t see
For I have no words to give, to take
And that is the difference between you and me


[12 April 2006]

I hate question marks

Maybe one day?
Maybe sometime soon?
Who can really say?
The sun won’t rise

And then again maybe the moon
Will do her job
And pull the sun right up
From where he’s hiding

And launch him high
Into the sky
To burn us all
Once more

To embrace us
With his fire
To light us up
With his temperament

But then again
Maybe it’s all
Fantasy

Who can say?
What a new day
Will bring

Why does the earth
Keep on turning?
And why does my mind
Keep on churning?

If I close my eyes now
What will you see?
What will be there?
Who will I be?

Right now.



[12 April 2006]